Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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