And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
