just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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