you didnt know i had herpes?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
