its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
