so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
