YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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