the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
