Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dignity is for republicans.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
