dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize