Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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