He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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