Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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