I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
