you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
