Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
