Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
