I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
