did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
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If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
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Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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