Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
