so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
and she was petting her beer can
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
