That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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