Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
