Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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