At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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