First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
