You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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