She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize