did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have demons in me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
