He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
