I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
