he puts the penis in happiness.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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