I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
