She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
