just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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