just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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