we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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