I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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