he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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