just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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