his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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