Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
