I just threw up on my dentist
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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