I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
