i permit you to call me
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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