There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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