I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
