look no pants
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I want her autograph on my taint
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
