It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize