And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
