chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
