So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
