Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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