Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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