One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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