Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
