That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
