you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
