your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
