he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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